


Long Overdue

by SmilesRawesome



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: An Actual Conversation Happens, Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It happens, Wow.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmilesRawesome/pseuds/SmilesRawesome
Summary: It’s been a long time coming, but this needs to happen.ORThe one where Clark and Kon actually talk shit out.





	Long Overdue

Clark sat at the kitchen bench, holding his head in his hands. Lois had taken Jon out with Damian, so he was alone in the house, with no distraction from his thoughts. He’d spent long enough ignoring this, too long, and the more he ignored it the more people got hurt.

  
The more… _he_ got hurt.

  
He looked up from his hands and saw Damian’s jacket hanging over one of their chairs, almost identical to the way Bruce hung his jackets. The thought sent a brief flash of a smile across his face before giving him an idea. Bruce. Bruce had told him from day one that he’d been handling this poorly, even before Damian came along.

  
He was in the skies before he really knew what he was doing, heading towards Gotham with the hope of finally sorting his mess out with the guidance of his best friend. Landing in the batcave, he let out a small breath at seeing the man actually here, suddenly realising he might not have been.

  
“Clark.” Bruce said, still facing the computer, typing away at whatever file he was working on, but he wasn’t sending him away. He pulled up a chair and sat next to him, running a hand through his hair.   
“You were right.” Clark mumbled, drumming his fingers on the armrest as he admitted it. Bruce huffed softly, possibly mistaken for mocking, but Clark knew better.

  
“I often am. You’ll have to be more specific.” His friend answered, still not looking up.   
“About how I handled… how I _am_ handling…” Clark licked his lips, still not quite ready to admit his wrong doings aloud. Bruce seemed to understand, because he stopped typing and turned to face him, piercing blue eyes studying him.   
“Kon El.” Bruce finished for him, and Clark let out a whoosh of air.   
“Kon El.” He mumbled, even softer now, looking down at his lap.

  
“I’ve told you before that the feelings you have about his conception are valid. It’s violating, terrifying that somebody could-“   
“I know, I know all that, Bruce. I’m the one who feels all that. But I- I placed my anger on someone who didn’t deserve it, on a kid. You told me I was wrong to do so and I didn’t listen. I’ve pushed Kon away, given him all of these issues that he wouldn’t have if- if I had just done what you said and tried coping with this healthily.” Clark closed his eyes, burying his head in his hands again. He was doing that a lot today.

  
“As you said at the time, I don’t cope with things healthily.” Bruce said, voice snippy and eyebrow raised. Clark reached out a foot and nudged Bruce’s knee with it.   
“I said sorry for that, and I am.” Clark prodded gently, tilting his head just slightly to the side.  
“Oh, I know, and you’re not wrong, sometimes your ego needs to be nipped in the bud, though.” Bruce answered, turning back to his typing as if Clark would somehow be shielded from the sentimentality behind such a playful comment.

  
“Maybe. But you…” Clark trailed off, wondering if this was crossing some sort of line. Bruce stopped typing again, gesturing an eyebrow in his direction to make him keep going.   
“You… you coped with Damian. When he came here, after what had happened to you, you, you didn’t hesitate. I did. Big time, I cast Kon aside and I-“  
“Clark.”

  
Bruce didn’t snap or yell, he spoke quietly, but he always had such power in his voice that it was able to shut Clark up instantly.   
“We coped differently. I wasn’t… unaffected when Damian came into my life. I got distracted and that’s why Darkseid was able to get to me. But Damian is a child, he had nothing to do with what happened to me. None of it was his fault… and he’s my son. I wasn’t going to turn him away. He needed me.” Bruce explained. Clark closed his eyes as he heard old voices, old conversations flash through his mind.

  
 _“Kon El needs you.”_ That’s Bruce. Confronting Clark the first time.   
_“I- I don’t know what I’m doing, Superman.”_ Kon. Gathering the courage to ask for help.   
_“Kal, you cannot leave the boy like this.”_ Diana. Crossing her arms and staring down at him in disappointment.  
 _“Clark, what the fuck?! You would kill me or Bruce if we treated Wally or any of his kids like this.”_ Barry. Arguing with him after all the kids are sent home.   
_“There’s a kid out there and you’re leaving him to fend for himself?! What the fuck, Clark?!”_ Lois. Screaming as a first reaction to the story told by someone else. Clark didn’t correct the inaccuracies.   
_“I don’t know what you’re doing, Uncle Clark, but it’s wrong.”_ Dick. Breaking Clark’s heart in a single sentence.  
 _“Please try not to make the mistakes I made.”_ Oliver. Looking sadly at Roy after he finished his speech.   
_“You do not see him the way he is, you allow yourself only to view him through a cloud of hate.”_ J’onn. Feeling the edges of Clark’s anger and pain brushing up against his mind.

  
Clark swallowed, clenching his hands into fists.   
“ _Fuck_.” He whispered, hands trembling slightly despite how tightly they were closed. “And I just pushed all of my issues onto a kid who didn’t deserve them. What the fuck is wrong with me?” He hissed, standing and throwing the chair backwards as he did. Bruce blinked, the only amount of shock he would allow to show.   
“Clark, that’s not- you weren’t much older than I was when I took Dick in. There are much worse ways you could have handled this-“   
“That doesn’t stop what I’ve done from being damaging!”   
“No. It doesn’t.”

  
Clark stopped, staring at Bruce in shock. The man stood, unafraid and looming.   
“You fucked up, Clark. You hurt Kon El and now you’re realising it. You have to own your mistakes. Don’t let this become any worse. It’s been a long time and the damage has been done, but maybe some of it can be healed.” Bruce bit out, before calming just slightly. “It’s hard work, but if you’re willing to do the work… progress can be made.”

  
Clark let out a long breath, knowing who Bruce was talking about in the subtext of his advice. Things still weren’t the greatest between him and Jason, but Bruce kept trying. Maybe if Clark tried… something would happen for the better.

  
As of right now, his mind was still swirling with guilt, everything he’d ever done to hurt Kon coming back to the surface and breaking him apart little by little.   
“Thank you, Bruce.” He whispered hoarsely, running a hand through his hair and floating a few inches into the air.   
“Tell Dick I’m sorry I couldn’t stay for tea.” He said, then flew out of the cave, heading back to Metropolis.

  
“Good luck, Kal.” He heard Bruce whisper behind him, causing a few tears to leak from his eyes. If Bruce was doing better at communication than he was, he was definitely doing this wrong.

  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  
“What’s going on, Clark?” Lois asked him, the bed dipping with her weight as she turned onto her side to face him. It had been five days since his talk with Bruce, and he still hadn’t done anything about anything. He’d been mulling about the house, blankly typing up pieces, putting on a smile for Jon when he needed to, but otherwise just going around on autopilot.

  
He turned over and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead in apology. He shifted so he could rest his own forehead against hers, his thumb stroking the skin of her arm.   
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, taking a deep breath and trying to find the words he needed.   
“I’ve been… thinking a lot lately. About Kon.” He murmured. Lois frowned slightly, placing a hand up on his cheek.   
“Did something happen to him?” She asked. Clark shook his head, then nodded.

  
“I happened to him.”   
Lois blinked at him, expression going carefully neutral. Clark knew she cared about Kon, had always thought the way he treated him had been completely unfair. Which, he could see now, it had been.   
“I- I never told you the full story of… of how he came around.” He whispered, closing his eyes tightly while she started stroking his cheek.

  
“L- Lex Luthor stole my DNA. He used it to- to _manufacture_ Kon. Another Superman, one to take over if I ever ‘strayed too far’. He was rapidly aged, only technically alive for a few months when the other kids found him, but still sixteen at the same time. I- Lex _used me_ to- to create this kid and- and I didn’t know how to deal with it.” Clark had to pause for a moment, taking a deep breath while Lois hugged him tighter. “He- he took part of myself from me and _used me_ to _replace_ me. Then Kon was there, looking up at me with my own eyes and my own face. I- I- I hated it. I hated it. Kon represented what Luthor had done and I- I lashed out at him. Took my anger out on him. I’ve been doing it for all these years and I’m- I’m just now seeming to realise that it- that it wasn’t Kon’s fault, and- and I don’t- I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done.”

  
Lois wiped away the few tears that leaked from his eyes, leaning up to kiss his cheeks.   
“Oh, Clark.” She sighed, tugging him closer and letting him rest on her chest, letting him be the small one in this moment.   
“Clark, honey, I’m so sorry. I never realised what you were going through. You didn’t deserve me yelling at you while you were hurting.” She stopped talking as Clark shook his head, clinging onto her as right as he dared.   
“No, no, you were right to do what you did. I deserved that kind of treatment, maybe I still do. I treated Kon like that for years, ever since he came around. Everyone has been telling me from the start that I was hurting him but I didn’t listen, I never listened and now… now…”

  
Lois shushed him softly, pressing gentle kisses to the top of his head.   
“Kon’s pain doesn’t take away your pain, Clark. You didn’t do the right thing, but you’re a good person, and I know you’ll do the right thing now that you know.” She murmured, rubbing his arm and stroking his hair where she could reach. “We can work through this, so that seeing Kon isn’t so painful for you.”

  
“It’s so stupid, Lois.” Clark whispered into her skin, taking a shaky breath. “Nothing even really happened to me. It- it’s not like he- did anything to me, you know? I just, this is so _stupid_. I’m so stupid.”   
“Hey.” Lois snapped, trying to keep her voice down so she wouldn’t wake Jon. “This isn’t stupid, and neither are you. You’re allowed to hurt, baby. You’ll make this right. You always do.”

  
Clark snuggled in closer, trying to make himself relax in her arms, falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat.

  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  
**Clark**   
_Can we talk?_

**Conner**   
_Is something wrong?_

**Clark**   
_Not in the way you’re thinking. I just want to talk._

**Clark**   
_Please._

**Conner**   
_Okay, sure. I can fly over tomorrow._

**Clark**   
_I’ll see you then._

  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  
Clark felt like he was going to be sick. He was really doing this. He was confronting the very thing he had been avoiding for years now. It had been a while since he’d seen him. He looked even more like Clark now.

  
There was a knock at the door, shocking Clark out of his thoughts. It really was now or never. He walked over to the door, trying to smile at the man on the other side.   
“Kon, come in. Lois and Jon made brownies if you’re hungry.” He offered, stepping aside so he could come in.   
“Oh, are they here?” Kon asked, perking up a bit at the idea.   
“No, sorry, Lois has work and Jon’s at school.”

  
Kon deflated a little and nodded, walking over to the kitchen island and sitting, but not taking a brownie. He wasn’t as comfortable when it was just the two of them, and it killed Clark at how long it had taken him to notice. He sat opposite Kon, taking a deep breath and staring at his hands.

  
“I fucked up.” He breathed, squeezing his hands together and wishing there was something to occupy them.   
“I’m sorry, what?” Kon asked in disbelief, both that he would admit that and that he would swear so easily.   
“I fucked up. With you. I- I used you as a scapegoat for my feelings, blaming you for things that weren’t your fault. Everyone- everyone told me I was doing the wrong thing, but I didn’t listen. I was to- to blinded by my own feelings to take yours into account. I… I’m sorry, Kon. I really, really am, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I-“

  
_“Why?”_

  
Clark looked up, his heart breaking in his chest at the sight before him. Kon was barely holding back tears, his hands trembling where they clung onto the edge of the bench.   
“Just- just _why?_ All these years, a whole other kid later and I- I’m just some _afterthought_ to you. I’m- I’m the _leftover_ , the _extra_ that you _don’t want_ , and- and now suddenly, what? You’re gonna hit me with the ‘oh I’m sooo sorry, I never realised I was being a JACKASS’!” Kon yelled the last word, the bench bending under his hands, his chest heaving. Clark took a deep breath of his own, rubbing his eyes to try and hide the tears there.   
“I knew. I just didn’t want to admit it.” He whispered, looking back up at Kon.

  
“I didn’t deal with the situation. I just found an easy target for my feelings. I-“  
“What feelings?” Kon snapped, glaring at him so viciously that part of Clark almost worries he’s going to blast him with heat vision. When he doesn’t answer, Kon slams a fist on the table.   
“What feelings?! Were you ashamed of me because I wasn’t the perfect Superman?! Did you hate me because I reminded you of your own flaws?! Or was it just-“   
“I hate what you represent!” Clark snapped, now his turn to interrupt. Kon froze, tears falling down his cheeks while Clark took a deep breath.

  
“You- you represented what Luthor had done to me. Stolen a part of me, _used_ me to- to replace myself. I was _violated_ and instead of dealing with it, I just placed all of my anger onto the easiest scapegoat. You. You were right there, looking at me with my own face and I- I didn’t know what else to do.” Clark closed his eyes, the tension draining out of him. “I… I’d never really been hurt before. Not like that. Sure I’d taken a punch and been exposed to kryptonite but, something like this? I thought I was invincible. To so suddenly not be was- it was-“ he choked on his words, not wanting to finish the thought aloud.

  
Kon sniffled, and when Clark looked up, he was wiping the tears off his cheeks.   
“So why now?” Kon asked, voice shaky and tear filled.   
“I don’t know.” Clark answered honestly. “It just suddenly hit me the other day that- that I was angry at the wrong person. I really am sorry, Kon. You didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you. You needed me and I wasn’t there for you. There’s no excuse for my actions an-“

  
“I can’t forgive you.” Kon said quietly, running a hand through his hair. “Not… not yet, at least. But I… we could start… somewhere… small?” He offered, biting his lip as he looked up at Clark. He nodded gratefully at the offer, the barest traces of a smile flickering on his face.   
“Family dinner? Once a week?” He suggested, relief flooding through his veins as Kon gave him a small smile and a nod.

  
“As long as you know I’m still majorly pissed at you.” He added, voice firm as he tried to cover for the emotions of the past minutes. Clark huffed a soft laugh and pushed the plate of brownies towards him.   
“I don’t doubt it.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, this was a total blast to write and I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below bc they seriously keep me going in the whole writing shiz.


End file.
